Numb
by Raising cain
Summary: Sequel to run to you and addicted to love. Gwen want's to surprise Jack only to have the tables turned, and she doesn't like the results.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guy's so this is the long awaited Numb, ha ha I'm not that big headed! So this is the sequel to run to you and also addicted to love but you don't have to have read that one.

Sorry for the wait A level's and all that plus my mum is freaky controlling!! Kinda under house arrest, hey at least the food's good right? ;p

Oh yeah nothing changed I still own squat :s oh and I've taken a break from mullet rock, which was incredibly hard to find a song from but got some inspiration for other parts ;o so this song belongs to the awesome Linkin Park

Thank so much to every one of you guys who've reviewed or favourited, seriously it kept me going!

So enjoy xxx

Jack had Ianto pinned to his desk, the younger male was shirtless and Jack was in the process of de-trousering him too. Ianto's head was reclined giving up as much flesh on his neck to Jack as he could. Jack tongue swiped up and down the pale skin, leaving its owner a gibbering mess. Jack's hands gave up on Ianto's buttons for a moment in favour of sketching the sculpted torso laid bare in front of him; Jack was rewarded with the almost edible mewling noise coming from the back of Ianto throat. Jack paused to look at Ianto; they'd been doing this, whatever it was, for around two months and yet Jack still took time to admire Ianto's lithe from. Jack watched him now, so submissive and slender, back arched in a beautiful curve making his hips thrust out wantonly, hair tousled, the light filtering through the blinds picking out deep chocolate and almost light gold tones. His eyes were black; dilated with lust, but still the most expressive orbs Jack ever had the pleasure of owning. Ianto was truly the most gorgeous and priceless thing Jack had.

Gwen was on her way up from archives, a little thrill of excitement bubbling through her veins. Jack had sent everyone home early, voicing something about a quite night and him having extra paperwork, Gwen knew it was bull, even if Jack did have paperwork he wouldn't do it, he was probably playing with Myfanwy or in the shooting range. Gwen had gone down to give Ianto her file work, but Ianto wasn't there, he'd probably legged it with the other she had heard him mumble something about a date, good for him. The idea to surprise Jack had come with the realisation they were alone, so she stuck it out in archives long enough for Jack to think that she had gone home, really wanting to surprise him, even if that was the guilt talking.

The scene that had hit her though was not the romance she had wanted, through Jack's office blinds she could just depict Jack leaning over a slighter from. Gwen's breath caught in her throat, she collapsed in a heap, tears welling but not forming no way would she give Harkness the satisfaction of knowing he had that much of an effect on her.

Gathering her pride, Gwen rose somewhat shakily to her feet. Jack was cheating on her an though the hypocrisy of the situation flashed in her head she did not stop, Jack did not know about Owen and now he wouldn't have to, she could safely blame it all on him.

Gwen would go down fighting, making up her mind she marched toward the office to give Jack a piece of her mind and thoroughly embarrass his 'date'.

Five steps from the door however Gwen saw the 'dates' face and her heart plummeted. Ianto, she hadn't been expecting someone so close to home and Jack's betrayal hit a new depth. Gwen couldn't breathe, it was Ianto, not a nobody but Ianto, this time anger left no room for logic to tell her it was no worse than her betrayal. While Gwen recovered a little from shock she took stock of Jack's face and it crushed her. Pure bliss was mixed in equal parts with lust and he'd never looked so relaxed, Gwen supposed she could of handled that but then he laughed and it was full of joy, unrestrained happiness burst from Jack and killed Gwen. He'd never been like that with her, sure he'd laughed and smiled but never so free and childlike, and it killed her because Gwen knew right then she had nothing on Ianto.

Gwen couldn't help it but with that realisation a heartbroken sob had wrenched free of her mouth and both Jack and Ianto had turned to see Gwen standing broken before turning and walking smoothly away.

Jack emitted a deep sigh, how stupid he'd been to think she'd never find out, but he'd at least hoped to tell her first. Jack felt Ianto crumple beside him and he turned to see the spark in Ianto die as the guilt crushed him in droves.

"Hey, look at me, Ianto look at me," Ianto reluctantly drew his eyes from the floor to bare his raw pain to Jack "hey we knew this was coming . . ." Ianto let out a sob that broke Jack just a little, "Ianto I need to fix this, calm down, I'll talk to her." Ianto started to rise hanging his head once more, "Hey," Jack pressed him back down and tipped Ianto's chin to look his young lover in the eyes once more "you're going nowhere, this was . . . unfortunate, but inevitable, I want you, but I can't let her leave like this. I'll be back I swear to you." Jack kissed Ianto quickly but so lovingly Ianto managed to nod before fixing his eye's back on the floor.

Reluctantly Jack left Ianto and made to run after Gwen, wanting to do this as quickly as possible, right now Ianto needed him more, he and Gwen both knew it had been over for a while, only to find Gwen had only gone as far as the couch in the main hub before stopping to wait for Jack, hands on hips.

Jack looked back at Gwen with dull eyes; keeping eye contact was the key Gwen wouldn't listen if she didn't think he meant every word "I'm tired of being what you want me to be,"

"Feeling so faithless," Jack had loved Gwen; she brought back the whole teams humanity. They'd needed her, he needed her, hell they still did, but every time Jack looked at her he felt a little more like a monster. He had robbed her of a normal life, subjected her humanity to trial after trial, testing its limits every day, Jack felt like he was killing her, killing what Gwen had the chance to be, what she had been before Torchwood. Ianto was different _he _needed _Jack_, the trust and loyalty he felt from that boy was astounding. Jack hadn't missed it, he knew that Ianto made him flourish while Gwen overshadowed him, made him feel put down and ashamed, "lost under the surface."

Jack had to glance away from Gwen, he hadn't set out to her hurt her, he hadn't even gone looking for Ianto, but being with his boy made Jack feel . . . something, he didn't know exactly, just that he hadn't felt this free in a long time.

Looking back at Gwen, Jack saw the well of trust and hurt in her tear glistened eyes, Jack automatically hit the defensive "I don't know what you're expecting of me," he hadn't promised her anything, he never had. Of course he cared about her, but Gwen had placed him on a pedestal, one Jack had never pretended to belong on.

"Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes." Gwen wanted Jack to change, she had a perfect form of him in her head, and when Jack hadn't conformed, hadn't fit neatly between her lines, Gwen had broken. He only had to recall the fairy incident; Gwen had made him into the monster claiming a betrayal of them both, of their love. Jack couldn't handle this, calling him on this shit was practically Gwen's job description, but her admission of love was something else, a responsibility that this life couldn't handle, she'd become someone else he _shouldn't_ lose, someone else to break Captain Jack Harkness.

"Can't you see that you're smothering me, holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?" Jack was losing himself to Gwen, to this time, trying to be a man she could be proud of, all the while walking away from his identity, suppressing his nature.

"'cause everything you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you." Jack couldn't break eye contact, he needed her to realise that this was really happening, and would have to have been blind to miss her shuddered at the obvious, though not explicit, reference to how this argument started. She'd seen him plucked from her pedestal; he wasn't the shiny white knight Gwen wanted. Gwen didn't love him; she loved the persona, her prince charming, noble knight. Gwen didn't love Jack because she couldn't love the swindle, the cheat Jack knew he had been, knew he was.

Gwen shifted under his gaze, she hadn't put forth an argument yet at each pause she'd started to but closed her mouth just as quickly, as if she thought better. She hadn't even properly spilt a tear yet, Jack ploughed on, he knew once she started he'd have to stop.

"Every step that I take is another mistake to you." Jack could remember every time Gwen had questioned him, ignored an order, and challenged his authority. He thought again specifically of the fairies, the onetime Jack had needed the support, the comfort, and she'd been too ashamed of him to even make eye contact, just like how her eyes ripped away from his gaze now.

"And every second I waste is more than I can take." Jack risked a glance over his shoulder, back to his office, to Ianto, back to the man who captivated and revived him. The man who could love jack as the monster, because they'd already ripped each other down, seen each other at their worst. Back to the man who'd given Jack everything and had yet to ask for anything. He wanted, needed, to be back there instead of here ending something that should never have started.

Looking back at Gwen Jack registered the barely concealed loathing aimed at him, but right now aimed over his shoulder, where his thoughts had been only seconds ago.

If Jack was honest he hadn't felt anything for, or from, Gwen since Ianto, only guilt, "I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, become so tired" Jack let his eyes drop, he _was_ tired, tired of lying and hiding. In a way Jack was glad, now he could _be with_ Ianto, not that his boy would ever flaunt it, Ianto would be better behaved than him, which brought a smile to his face. "So much more aware," Jack breathed, and then immediately closed off his body language, he hadn't meant to say it, but it was true. Gwen had heard it too and her head had snapped up in hurt, confusion lost to anger as she realised who Jack meant. Jack saw her anger and defied it "_I'm_ becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and less like you!" Gwen's whole body shrank, arms wrapped around her torso in protection as if Jack's words had taken physical form. He was being harsh because he had to. Gwen wouldn't learn any other way, she'd stubbornly attack Ianto. Jack needed her anger directed at him for the sake of the team. He could be hated, he'd always made the hard decisions, and he could handle it.

Jack sank into his chair, and pushed the last nail into the proverbial coffin, "I'm tired of being what _you_ want me to be!"

Jack lifted his head from his hands to view the destruction he brought. Gwen was sobbing silently, chest heaving from shuddering breaths as she fought to rein in her convulsing body. Jack wanted to say sorry, to hug her, kiss it better but he wasn't _that _to her now, she'd be ok, she'd find another, probably already had.

Finally, after ten gut wrenching minuets Gwen stood up "where's Ianto?" defiance was prominent on her face, eye's a deep black, jaw set, anger bringing colour to otherwise pale cheeks.

"No" Jack stood too, if this was going to happen Jack was going to be at an even pegging.

"What!!!" Gwen wasn't going down without a fight and Ianto _was_ going to get a piece of her mind.

"No Gwen, he stays out of this!"

"Why Jack 'cause he's you new fuck buddy! Oh god was that all I was?"

"No Gwen and you know it; I gave you everything I could. Look just go, go home; keep the house I'll stay wi. . . "

"Ianto?"

"Just go Gwen!" Jack turned and marched across the hub, not once did he turn to watch Gwen leave, not once did he stop, he strode toward his boy and his home, slamming his office door with such brute force that the glass shuddered and threatened to break loose from it'd bonds. He'd finalised his and Gwen relationship, any hope she had was severed with that one gesture.

Gwen was cold, she couldn't even muster anger, and she was frozen. She knew it had been coming, the end. But not Ianto where the hell had that come from? Gwen felt sick, she thought it was her choice; her fault this was over but seeing Jack like that . . . he'd never looked at her with such reverence, and now he never would. Gwen's heart was tearing, she had to escape, and detouring to the kitchen she wrenched the coffee machine from the work surface and watched it smash with a smile, tears long dry and forgotten, before purposely striding to find Owen, refusing to let Jack effing Harkness make her flee.

Fin

A/N 2: just a quickie but this is done, the second chapter (coming soon I promise) is the flip side, not a continuation, how it would have gone if Jack found out about Gwen and Owen first, for all of you who wanted that and sparked my interest, I just really wanted to get this one out first. Thanks xxx


	2. Sunday morning

A/N: Yay finally done : ) Ok this is the flip side Jack finding out about Gwen, read it as if it takes place on the same day, but instead of 'Numb'.

Again I own nothing but my beautiful laptop! Oh you've probably guessed that my taste in music is . . . weird so this time the lyrics belong to the amazing No Doubt, couldn't quite get back in black, ACDC, to work but it was fun trying ;p

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited or even just read, it means a hell of a lot to know people like this, 'cause I love writing it. So here we go and enjoy xxx

Sorry this has taken soo long real life just got . . . in the way, for a bit, sorry :p

Jack had to double take his walk past autopsy because for a moment he'd thought he'd seen Gwen pressed up against Owen in a less than intimidating way. A second, not so casual, walk past in fact confirmed that his lying eyes weren't that deceiving and yes Gwen _was_ rubbing herself against Owen.

Jack caught a strangled laugh in his throat. Gwen was cheating on him. The mighty Captain Jack Harkness was not enough for ordinary Gwen Cooper, when in the hell had that happened.

Jack knew it was stupid, hell _he_ was cheating on _her_ and this was probably just retaliation. Yet somehow Jack knew that wasn't it because god knows what Gwen would do if she ever caught him with Ianto, but he knew she wouldn't just keep quiet, she couldn't.

What Jack couldn't figure out, was why it stung quite so much. They were over, had been for a while, in fact this was just what he needed to break things off and not have Ianto withdraw from guilt, or Gwen castrate them both. But it still stung and Jack couldn't pin down why.

He knew Ianto would tell him it was because he was human, and as much as he tried to remove himself from that fact, remove himself from the pain, it wasn't going to happen, because he _was _human. So Gwen cheating on him stung because it was supposed to, Jack guessed it was a good thing, sort of.

Actually he figured it was more of a dented pride thing, but he'd be damned if he was going to admit it.

The laughter in Jack bubbled over again as he tried to look at the situation objectively, it was just so damn funny, all these 21st century quirks were staring to affect him, partners cheating on their cheating partners. Back, or forward, in his time it would have been over long before now, but here the 21st century's illusion of manners kept this whole thing held together, preservation of feelings and all that crap.

The way Jack saw it he had two choices, one, he could walk away right now, grab Ianto, remind himself he is _that_ good and wait for Gwen to come to him. Or, two, he could walk in and get it over with now. Admitting both plans had upside, some far more temping than others, Jack grudgingly decided to go with plan b. Only because if Ianto ever found out Jack had passed up this opportunity in favour of more deceit, he wouldn't give Jack the chance to remind himself of anything any time soon.

Jack took a deep breath, if he was going to do this he was not going to show Gwen pain. No, no pain, no anger and definitely no tears. He was going to do this right, maybe infuse some humour; he had a chance to do this now without tearing the team in two, and humour while not politically correct was definitely a better option than the rest.

Jack maintained this thought right up to the archway when it was rudely pushed out of his head by the sight of Owen and Gwen and a fit of really inappropriate laughter hit, again. It really wasn't the situation, well not really. Jack just honestly couldn't see what Owen possessed that he didn't; sure Owen had that whole skinny tough guy thing going for him, and that little tight arse . . . but apart from that Jack did not get it.

Unfortunately Jack's unchecked chuckle had alerted the otherwise occupied couple, who sprang back from each other as if burnt. The mix of pure shock and confusion on Gwen's face contrasted perfectly with the rather smug smirk on Owen's and only fuelled Jack's fit of hysteria.

It was clear that Jack was trying to say something, while desperately trying to control his lungs, "You . . . You're . . . y . . ." Gwen was getting rather irate at this point, her long time 'white knight' had just caught her cheating, and he was laughing. Her blood was just about boiling; this was not the reaction she'd been expecting. Wasn't jack supposed to been angry, shouting, tear Owen limb from limb, maybe even shed a tear? Why the hell was he laughing?

Jack had finally composed himself enough to control his voice box and decided it was best to say something, if the look on Gwen's face was anything to go by, "You're trying my shoes on for a change." Jack stated there was no question or hurt, no anger, just fact. One that seemed to have wiped the shit eating grin from Owen's face, the bastard had probably hung around to see the fireworks, have a good gawp at his boss fall apart because Owen had got the bird. Jack gained a perverse kind of pleasure to see Owen's face drop, because Jack had actually sounded rather amused.

Gwen on the other hand was not. She had expected a song and dance, a big show, Jack to break Owen and then swoop Gwen away and show her why he was ten time's the man Owen was. Ok, that had been a little unrealistic, but no more so than Jack's actual reaction, what the hell!

Jack continued with a smirk before Gwen had chance to voice her out of place outrage, "They look so good, but fit so strange." Jack used to be the one in Gwen's place, sleeping around; getting caught and he had to admit it had been fun. The thrill, the adrenalin making the short encounters all the more exhilarating, for a fleeting moment he thought of starting up again, until he remembered why he'd interrupted in the first place, Ianto. "Out of fashion so I can't complain." Jack added the quiet afterthought, it _had_ been tempting but Ianto was so much more, quick fumbles and fast flings were old hat, Ianto was too much fun.

Gwen was staring at Jack with disbelief, so not only did he find the whole thing amusing but he was also comparing it to what he used to do. This was completely different; _she_ was doing it to make him jealous,_ she_ had a purpose, it wasn't a _random_ hook up, completely different.

Jack watched Gwen stare at him incredulously. She'd obviously had a plan, Jack knew he'd been short with her lately, left her in favour of more . . . appealing company, so this had been a test, a way to make Jack prove his love. Jack felt the tinges of anger at being played mix with the earlier sting of betrayal and decided to push Gwen a little.

"I know who I am" Jack looked Gwen dead in the eye, he wanted to see the truth, "but who are you?" Jack watched shock subtly fill Gwen's expression, "You're not looking like you used to." Gwen huffed, bristled by the accusation, sure this wasn't her usual style but she didn't think she'd changed.

Jack read Gwen's expression, focused solely on her thoughts. He could see she didn't like the thought that she'd changed. Anger started to seep in again as Jack recalled the lectures she'd given about his flirting, the times he'd had to apologise, Gwen had changed or at least her morals had, "You're on the other side of the mirror, so nothings looking quite as clear."

Jack's anger rose steadily with the realisation of Gwen's double standards, cheating, sneaking and lying were justifiable for Gwen but Jack Harkness was allowed to flirt as much as he was allowed to leave the toilet seat up. And ok maybe he wasn't feeling the guilt so much but Ianto was, and watching his boy cater to Gwen's every whim in some form of silent apology was killing Jack.

"Thank you for turning on the light." Jack had spoken the last to Owen, rather surprised the man hadn't scarpered when he realised Jack's breakdown was going to be delayed. He was thankful to Owen, these last few weeks had been hell. He had Ianto, had what he_ needed_ and was not a lover of hiding. Hell he'd wanted to claim Ianto in front of the team for ages, maybe it was the alpha male in him talking but Jack was very possessive of his things. In truth he'd only stuck with Gwen to stop the team from rupturing. Gwen would have made things impossible, Owen would have taken her side, Ianto would have retreated under the scrutiny of the other because he felt at fault and Tosh would have remained passive to all but him.

Jack looked back to Gwen who was frozen, stunned by Jack's reaction to Owen, mouth hung open from shock and arms stiff in some pointless action of remorse or defence, hands curling into fists. Jack felt the urge to rile her, the woman that had the master plan for them all "Thank you, now you're the parasite." Gwen was playing them, leeching off him fuelling _her _fantasy.

Jack was smirking again "I didn't think you had it in you, and now you're looking like I used to." Jack honestly couldn't think of a worse insult. The way he'd lived his life was selfish and empty, he wouldn't relive it, not after the Doctor, Gwen and now Ianto, he'd gained too much, that old life was a cruel illusion of living.

Jack turned to leave, he was pretty sure Gwen had gotten the picture and all Jack wanted now was to surround himself in the feel of Ianto, caress that soft hair, entwine his fingers in it and lower Ianto ever so lovingly to hiss kne. . . Jack was pried from his daydream by a figure blocking his escape from Autopsy. Jack locked eyes with Gwen noting her shoulder width stance, bent arms and twitching hands. She clearly had the idea that this wasn't over and that Jack wasn't going anywhere. Jack's lust was completely drowned out by exasperation, now it wasn't just clothes in his way.

Jack launched into his speech before Gwen gave voice to the 'It's not over' sitting on her waspish tongue. "You came in with the breeze," Gwen liked to just waft about, no real conviction, useless she shouldn't be doing it, jumping in her first and bailing before it got too hard. And now she was in his way again with no remorse shading her face just anger in her tight jaw and set brow. Jack checked his watch this was taking too long, "on Sunday morning" It had just hit 00:00 and Jack felt compelled to point out the time, he should be with Ianto in bed, and she should be not here.

"You sure have changed since yesterday, without any warning," Jack felt the conviction behind his every word, Gwen had changed, Torchwood had done it again; warped someone to breaking point, Gwen was bent, different. Jack couldn't find it to be angry, it would be hypocritical, but the attraction he'd felt to Gwen, the one that had been dwindling with everyday spent next to Ianto, dissolved. Now the only feelings that Gwen's lovelorn stare stirred up were pity and the poignant tinge of disappointment.

It came as no surprise when Gwen surged forward, pressing her body to Jack's. Closing the gap and clinging to him in a silent plea, completely stumped when Jack peeled himself from her limpet form and stepped to the side. Gwen felt anger build, expanding and putting her under pressure, no one not even the 'mighty' Jack Harkness; note the sarcasm, left Gwen like this. Not with _pity _in their eyes.

Finally snapping Gwen grabbed the departing captain in a bruising grip, locking her fingers round his forearm, pulling too suddenly for Jack to maintain balance she managed to get them face to face and swarmed toward his lips, pulling all her passion into one kiss, one kiss to win him back.

Gwen could feel Jack's breath ghosting her lips as she moved in, taking in his scent and appeal, relaxing. Until she felt Jack's hand grip her chin and bluntly stop her ascent to his lips, Gwen's pulse picked up only to fall again when Jack slowly began to move forward.

Jack had been shocked, thrown off kilter and a total liar if he said Gwen's proximity and forcefulness did nothing for him.

Jack moved in to hover only millimetres from Gwen's lips, her breath mingling with his own "And you want me badly," Jack paused, locked Gwen's stare with his own and winked before stepping back, well out of arms reach, emitting a smirk far surpassing Owen's earlier attempt " 'cause you cannot have me."

The rejection hit Gwen with a physical presence; her whole body sagged and seemed to collapse in on itself before a tiny sob hiccupped from Gwen mouth.

Jack went to move off; he'd done enough damage, that last taunt maybe a little too far. He made it a rather impressive five paces till he turned. Gwen needed closure before he could make him and Ianto an 'us'. And in all honesty Jack was sick of being the bad guy, Gwen had brought this on herself and after that little stunt Jack felt about this – much sympathy, "I thought I knew you, but I've got a new view."

Gwen stopped stooping and raised herself full extension in defiance, seeing the old spark back Jack knew he hadn't broken her and it was time to 'get the hell out of dodge', "I thought I knew you well," Jack added as he pivoted his body, angled it toward his office and moved off.

Gwen couldn't see Jack's face as he threw the "Oh well," over his shoulder but it didn't take much to imagine the smile that occupied it, she could hear it in his voice, not a megawatt smile, but his secret smile one that ironically Gwen had never earned, till now.

It was over, she knew it. No "buts" or "maybes" they weren't a 'they' anymore, Gwen was just a 'her'. Picking what was left of her dignity from the floor Gwen marched from the hub, Jack wouldn't get the privilege of seeing her sulk.

Owen who'd watched the whole exchange with a strange mixture of shock and amusement was about to head off too, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and hunching his shoulders, when he noticed two things. One was the figure reclining over Jack's desk, only noticeable by the darker shadow and Owen's sharper 'doctor's eye'. And two, Gwen had halted at the cog door staring at him; oh he and Ianto were so in with some 'comforting' tonight.

Owen wouldn't tell Gwen, it wasn't his place; also it made the whole Jack and Gwen fiasco funnier and didn't think he _could_ tell her without laughing in her face, so Owen bit his tongue.

Jack entered his office to Find Ianto already there, perched on the edge of his desk, suit jacket already lost to his chair and shirt sleeves rolled up. Jack honestly thought he'd never felt as good as he did to find his boy waiting for him.

Jack ignored his body which was screaming at him to take Ianto hard, wanting him to mark his love, be possessive and revel in it. Jack allied with his heart and walked over to Ianto slowly taking the boy in his arms, burying his head in the crook of Ianto's neck bestowing small kisses, filling his senses with the man he knew he'd already fallen hard for. Ianto may never hear the word gratified by Jack's lips but every movement Jack made, or didn't, screamed 'I need you, I love you'.


End file.
